This is Hard

You know, you don't really know just how hard this job is until you do it. I mean, really, though. There's so much to think about all the time... I wake up in the middle of the night wondering if I have enough supplies for the science experiment for tomorrow or if I should have called so-and-so's Mom about such-and-such... I think about how different things will effect my kids... what will they think of this or that? How will whatever-the-case-may-be-today effect their day? Will they be so excited over the new things we're doing or bored to tears? Will it be too hard and too frustrating? Will it be too easy and I'll need more for them to do? I mean, if you don't teach you just really can't have a clue all of the thinking and planning and organization and preparation that goes into each and every minute of the day. For instance, I work with an awesome team of teachers. I mean it. They are GREAT and I am so blessed. They have truly helped me so much. Even with the plans being mostly done for me and everything I still spend hours on plans and organization and stuff. For example, we are working on magnets right now in science, so I bought 40 magnets. Then, I put 4 items in 16 envelopes so that the kids would have their own kit to see what "stuck" to the magnet. Then, I get to school and we finally get to science (which is unfortunately at the smack end of the day) and they are so excited over the magnets that we hardly get to do the lesson. Of course, I know better. I should have allowed them to play with the tools before expecting them to learn with them. This is a common problem and I know how to do it- I just simply did not have the time today. Time. Time is always an issue. There is just never enough time in my day. I was so excited to see the kids excited over science though! It was so cool!
There are things to plan besides lessons. For example, I never knew how much thought went in to lining up... or coming back in the room... or getting water... or picking a book... I mean, you name it and I should have thought about it in depth... and didn't. That's ok though because I am learning as I go and the kids seem to adapt when I need to change something. Though they don't say it, I think they can all tell I'm new at this. It's so funny to see them though when I have to change something. I have found that if I just say what I'm changing and why they go right along with it. They like to know the "why"s to everything. They're so curious.
I will say that I am worn out. I am finding that I need to stop worrying about the little things and see the big picture. Honestly, if I continue to worry myself over all the tiny things I will worry myself sick. I'm trying to learn to just let it go. Are they always on task at work stations? No. Does that really matter? Not really. They get their work done and this is new to them... now, this time next week if we're still having issues I'll have to figure something else out. These days I'm finding that my life is kind of trial and error. I try to maintain consistency because that's really what kids need... so, I'm giving the work station thing a little more time before I decide to revamp it. who knows, maybe they will figure it out and we can work it out together. I hope so! I have faith in them.
Really, the most important thing is that they are learning. I can tell they are. Most of them are working very hard and I am so proud of them. I just need to get a few to step it up and we will be right on track.
Overall, I am very pleased with the year so far. I feel like I am finally earning the kids' trust and that makes me really happy.

Difficult Sometimes...

To say that I did not grow up like my students would be an understatement. I don't think I've really talked about it much on my blog, but I teach in a small rural town... a poor, small rural town. My children do not have it all by any means. They have dealt with more difficult situations in their short seven years than I have in my 24. That being said, it breaks my heart to know what some of them deal with... Which leads me to my story...

We were at lunch. I pack my lunch every day. It's nothing new. I have never liked cafeteria food and have always packed my lunch... even when I was in elementary school. So, I had my normal sandwich, fruit, bottled water, and crackers... this day the crackers were goldfish crackers. I noticed some of the kids eyeing them and I had plenty... so, when I finished with what I wanted I walked around the table and handed each child one (yes, one) goldfish cracker. They were in heaven. They each thanked me and were so excited. It made me happy to make their day, but also broke my heart... one tiny goldfish. How often have I taken for granted things? How often have I grabbed a handful of whatever snack food and thought nothing of it? My sweet children were so pleased with only one.

I know I am the teacher, but I think that most days I am still the student. This day in particular, I was a student in the thing called life. Mine is far from perfect, but I am learning each and every day just how good I've got it.

I know without a doubt I am at that school with those children for a reason. My dream, my goal, is to make a difference for them. I'll do whatever it takes... one goldfish cracker... or 190 days of hard service. I don't care.

I Am So Proud!

My kids were really good today. We shall see how tomorrow goes. I was really pleased with them. They took to new ideas I implemented and we had our first trial-run of work stations and they did so well! I even impressed the lunch ladies by having my kids says "thank you" as they went through the line. Gosh, I figured I was the only one who didn't... but apparently most classes don't. I was so proud of them. They even said it like they meant it!

So Excited!!

You know, it's funny... but I am so excited to go back tomorrow. I did not really get to enjoy my weekend. I spent most of it making sure I have everything ready for next week as well as writing emergency sub plans and making sure they would have everything needed should something happen and I need to be out for five days. I'm tellin' ya, if I end up out for more than five days it will be just awful. It took me forever to plan all of that. I do feel better about it though if something did happen because the kids would be taken care of and have everything they need.
Jake and I went to Target today and I found some cute things to buy as prizes as well as some things for them to play with at recess. We are not fortunate enough to have a play ground (we're working on raising the money though) so the kids play in a big field. The other teachers have all sorts of balls and jump ropes and stuff. I was lucky enough to find a couple of jump ropes in my room as well as two or three frisbees... but no balls. So, when Jake and I went to Target today we got the kids a football, kickball, and huge bouncy ball (I don't really think that's what it's called but it's great). I am so excited to show them the stuff!
I went to Walgreens today and printed off tons (94 to be exact) of photos. We will be making a scrapbook throughout the year which will be like a portfolio and have some photos in it as well. At the end of the year each child will be able to take home his/her scrapbook. I also printed off a copy of our class photo (that I took) for each child as well as an 8x10 to put up in the room. I just cannot wait to see what they think of the photo. I'm not giving them the other photos until they are working on their books, but I am prepared and pretty excited. I can tie it into all sorts of standards and they will be able to see their growth through their writing and other work throughout the year as well as their physical growth through the photos. I can't wait!
You know, it's funny... they're growing on me. I've never been a huggy person. I've never been one of "those" teachers... but I'm finding that I am quickly becoming one. They are just so sweet. Don't get me wrong... they challenge me every single day, but I think that's what makes the challenges all worth it- that they depend on me and that I am responsible for them and their success. I am determined to make this a good year for them (and me, of course).
On to week two... and SUPER EXCITED!

I Still Like You...

So yesterday near the end of the day I got the kids to help me make a list on the board of things they liked about their first week in second grade. During this activity one student looked at me and said, "Mrs. (insert my name here), it's Friday and I still like you." I said, "That's good. It's Friday and I still like you, too." They're just so funny sometimes!

I had a very interesting day yesterday. that's the only way I can put it and not sound negative. I had one child hit others with a ruler, one make two horrible comments aloud, one crying like crazy because she got caught being very mean... the list goes on and on. Very interesting to say the least. lol

We also had some changes at our school on the way we will be doing a few things. While I understand the necessity of these changes, I still find them inconvenient. Oh well. Such is life. I have heard things could be (and have been) worse, so I'll take it as that I'm still on top of the game and move on. I am slowly learning to roll with the punches. Wish me luck!

You know what they say, flexible people never get bent out of shape!

Oh The Joys...

of lunch time conversations...
I'm sitting at the head of the table. 16 cute little faces eating their lunch. The precious girl to my right looks at me and says, "Mrs. (Enter my name here), I want to be you." I say, "Aw sweetie, you'd still have to come to school every day." She looks at me (honest as can be) and says, "oh. Never mind then." hahahahaha!!! I smiled at her and forced myself to hold back a laugh. It's so funny to get a glimpse into how they think.

First Day of School

Today was the first day of school! It went well. We will have to work on our talking, but other than that everyone was well-behaved and very sweet! By lunch time I had so many telling me they like being in my class... of course, it's only the first day- we'll see if they think that once the hard work starts! :) Seriously, though, it went well and I am looking forward to a busy and challenging year. We'll see how the rest of the week goes.

I'm exhausted, but I did come through the day with a smile on my face. I think that's really my goal. If I can end each day smiling then it's all ok!